Lamaran

Lamaran adalah proses pengenalan keluarga pria dan keluarga wanita untuk kejenjang pernikahan. Lamaran, kalau diadat Jawa adalah proses yang wajib dilakukan sebelum menikah, dalam artian meminta persetujuan keluarga wanita untuk meminang calon pengantin wanita. Acara ini adalah acara bahagia yang ditunggu dan disambut dengan suka cita.

Apa ada keluarga yang setelah melakukan prosesi lamaran tidak bahagia? Ada. Saya dan mama saya. Kami menangis, sayangnya bukan tangis bahagia. Saya adalah anak tunggal dari mama saya dan cucu pertama dari keluarga besar. Kami ingin semuanya berjalan lancar, bukan hanya hari ini tetapi juga sewaktu acara pernikahan dan selama kehidupan saya dan calon pasangan saya setelah menikah. Keluarga pihak pria bilang bahwa untuk tanggal pernikahan, diserahkan sepenuhnya kepada pihak kami. Tetapi sewaktu keluarga saya menyebutkan tanggal yang kami mau, masalah dimulai. Lucunya adalah keluarga mereka sedang di rumah kami, melamar saya, tetapi membicarakan pernikahan adik lelaki calon pasangan saya. Mereka bertanya, kami menjawab dengan jawaban yang dijauh hari sudah mereka ketahui dan mempermasalahkan hal tersebut. KELUARGA MEREKA SEDANG MELAMAR SAYA, TAPI NGOTOT SOAL MENIKAHKAN ADIK CALON PASANGAN SAYA YANG BAHKAN BELUM MELAKUKAN ACARA LAMARAN. Jahat. Jahat sekali. Jahat sekali sampai membuat mama saya menangis setelah mereka pulang. Saya menangis melihat mama saya menangis, menangisi saya, menangisi tindakan keluarga mereka.

Saya dan mama saya tahu posisi calon pasangan saya terjepit, tapi kenapa harus kami yang mengalah, kenapa bukan adiknya yang selalu dimanja ibunya? Hal seperti bukan hal yang baik untuk mengawali sesuatu yang besar seperti pernikahan dan pengikatan kedua keluarga besar. Hal awal yang kami harapkan adalah sebuah kebahagiaan diakhir acara lamaran hari ini, tapi harapan tinggal harapan. Keluarga saya ada ganjalan, keluarga calon pasangan saya juga pasti ada ganjalan. Ganjalan yang besar yang kemungkinan besar akan menjadi batu kali di hati keluarga masing-masing.

Fixing Bloodline

I just read some random girl posted about his type of boyfriend. She said everyboy has their own preference for girl, like cute, slim, etc so she also has her own preference. She doesn't want to have wana (pribumi) as her boyfriend. She said she wanna fix her bloodline because her mother is Javanese but her father is Chinese.

When I read 'fix' word, it irks me someway. I'm Javanese with so much mix blood (Netherland and Chinese/Japanese-not quite sure about this but most of my family members have narrow eyes), and I don't think anything needs to fix from mix blood. When she said 'fix', it means there's something wrong about her. She doesn't satisfied with herself, and maybe with her family so she said it.

Is it wrong, she just wanna be happy? She can be happy without her needed to announce about pribumi. If she wants to get Chinese boyfriend then just get some, doesn't need to mention about pribumi. It's different from saying like, "I wanna have American boyfriend because they have a big d*ick." What she said is a kind of racism. When the other Chinese in Indonesia claimed theirselves to be pribumi (let's remind you about Ahok case), she's talking like she doesn't have any attachment to what she called pribumi.

Sejatinya Sejati

Saya tidak setuju dengan sebutan wanita sejati untuk perempuan yang memiliki anak (melahirkan), begitu pula dengan sebutan lelaki jantan dan lelaki sejati apabila telah berhasil memiliki anak (menghamili).

Kita tidak bisa memilih apakah kita akan diberi Tuhan rezeki untuk memiliki keturunan atau tidak. Hal yang bisa kita kita lakukan hanya berusaha dan berdoa, tapi kalau Tuhan tidak memberi, apakah lalu mereka bukan wanita/pria sejati?

Saya kenal beberapa pasangan yang kesulitan memiliki anak, sebagian dari mereka memutuskan untuk mengadopsi anak. Anak-anak itu disayangi dengan sepenuh hati, dicukupi semua kebutuhan mereka. Masih takcukupkah sebutan 'sejati' bagi mereka? Kalaupun mereka tidak ingin/sanggup untuk mengadopsi anak, takpantaskah mereka disebut 'sejati' hanya karena Tuhan memilih mereka untuk tidak menjadi orang tua?

Indonesian Fan Meet Baozi and Hana 2016

Last Saturday, I attended Anicult 2016 at Convention Hall, Tunjungan Plaza 3 Surabaya. I will make review about this event later (if I'm not lazy) but now I wanna write about IDFM Baozi and Hana in Anicult.

If you don't know Baozi and Hana (I will call it BaoHan later to make it shorter), they are famous gay cosplayers in Asia. They are couple and already going out for five years already. They even went to Bali just few days before Anicult to do honeymoon and celebrate their fifth anniversary. Fucking sweet, right?!

Btw, I got their fan meet ticket form lucky draw which was held by MoemoeHouse and Otome Obsession Surabaya. Lucky! BaoHan would attend fan meet for 2 days, Saturday and Sunday. I already send the admin that I would attend FM on Sunday but I have to change my schedule to Saturday just a week before the FM because I got notif that I had to perform on stage on Sunday. I became one of the finalists of Coswalk online audition.

An hour and half before the FM was held, there was long lines of people who would join the FM. We got a free poster, 2 badges, a totebag, and a postcard. I sat on behind so I couldn't see them well if I didn't stand up. This is one of the disadvantages of being a shorthy. BaoHan did not speak English well but Baozi's English is better than Hana's. I had a chance to ask them a question,

"When you were in Bali, I saw a photo which you wore white shirts and held flowers. Is that kind of prewedding photo or something?"

Baozi was so serious when he heard my question but suddenly he was embarrased and chuckled so cutely. he said that it was not a wedding photo but if they will marry, they will choose a beautiful place and stay there for a long time.

OMG! Baozi is so cuteeeee!!! Oh, he was so pretty, handsome and manly at the same time. Hana is pretty,  but Baozi is much much better than his photo. He was so handsome, goddamnit!

Anyway, they are so humble, cute, nice, sweet and funny. When I had a chance to take photo together with them, I asked Baozi to hold my tail and asked Hana to hold my hand. They were so cute when they wore confused ecpression on their face but they fullfilled my request. So kind, right? This is the result! Tarararam...






They were so cute (including me, if you ignore my goddamn cheeks)! I wanna meet them again. It's not because they are gay and I'm a fujoshi but they are so cute together.

Happy anniversary for you, guys! ^_^

Watching Gay AV? Count Me In!

I can say i'm a bit annoyed with people in my Facebook since USA made new regulation about marriage of the same sex. I don't care about such thing as long it's not happening in my direct blood-line. What i'm annoyed of is the reaction of people who judge people who support that new regulation. The problem is you don't live in States, dude, calm yourself! That regulation i believe won't happen in Indonesia. And when you start to judge the supporter, what's your problem with that?! And even they fighting with their own friends because they don't share the same value of life, you got to be kidding me! The funny thing is they judge fujoshi as well. Hello...!!! Gosh! Dude, have a life, will you?! They start talking about because fujoshi never watch the real gay sex before so they adore the 2D story. Because fujoshi never know how disgusting sex between men. Because fujoshi never know how disgusting watching someone licking someone else's asshole.

Call me a pervert after you read this, i don't fucking care! I am a fujoshi. I like story between men but not between women. Why? It's just unappealing for me. I have their thing so i don't need to see it. I read all of the genre of yaoi story, smut, shonen ai, bara, just name it. I read mangas and novels, watch animes and watch the AV. Yes, the AV. The first time i watched it, i chose the smooth one. Good choice of AV i had. The AV is beautiful. The bottom has a really nice asshole and that time i realized, the description and bed-talking in mangas i read, i found it in this AV. About the pink asshole n nipples, beautiful asshole (that time i thought, "Shit, his asshole is much more beautiful than mine!" LOL), twitching asshole. I dunno but i find it's funny when i write it that way. Hahaha... And that AV is not the only Yaoi AV i ever watched.

Like i said before that i read all genre of yaoi, so i also watched all of the AV genre. I tried hardcore, fisting. I found fasting is a bit too much for me. Not disgust feeling but more like..i imagined how painful fisting is... You know what i mean, right? If you ask me did i ever watch lesbian AV before, the answer is yes, but once again i'll say, it's not applealing for me. I even ever watched fisting for woman but that uncomfortable feeling came again in my mind, the feeling i had when i watched fisting for man.

So, my Facebook friends, don't bother to judge someone you don't even know. It's wasting your time, your energy. It's your right to write and share what's in your mind or value if your life but you can't insist your value to other people you don't know. And it's their right to support what they sympathy to. Don't bother to curse someone to go in Hell. By cursing someone that way, it won't make you go to Heaven easily. Just watch your own self. It's better to watch your own step instead of cursing someone you don't even know.